No more overlooking the small things because they are all that is beautiful.
I found a twig on the ground as a very young child and stared at it for hours. My eyes were drawn to the ridges of its bark, they sort of looked like wrinkles. As a child I looked forward to getting wrinkles. They kind of reminded me of the waves that came to visit the shores of Lake Huron. I dreamed of having skin that looked like the ocean. I was happy that twig was given a home and even more happy it was given the same home I was given.
Who has the time of day to sit though and stare at anything for even 5 minutes? Life is fast and requires our attention, but looking at the small things will always be near and dear to my heart.
How much power does even a small twig have to keep the attention of my inside world? Yes that feeling I used to get was a an awakening of realizing
nothing on this beautiful earth of ours is unworthy of love
and no one on this beautiful earth of ours is unworthy of love.
After a warm summers rain I would put on my boots and coat and go outside. I would stand under the eaves troughs waiting for a drip of water to fall. I’m sure my grandparents wondered why I stood there staring at the corner of the roof for so long.
It’s just something Autistics do, but what they are doing is often misunderstood. Hyper focusing on one thing for hours at a time does not mean they are gone some where else, it does not mean they don’t love you.
It is more than likely that it won’t be nature your loved one is hyper focusing on, but it might be. Each person has their own interests. For some Autistics it’s comic books, or astrology or it may be music or building things.
While I sat and stared at that twig I felt a sense of safety and in a way it is as though time could no longer control me into rushing through life. The inner world we each have, they say, is the most unknown territory. Most peoples minds are filled with thoughts and tasks they must do. Perhaps I was blessed to be born with a mind that does not have a thousand thoughts rolling through it. But sometimes the emptiness of my mind becomes overwhelming and I need to stare at a twig for an hour.
It is not beautiful to me to worry about tomorrow or the bills that need to be paid, or the car that needs to be fixed, or the load of paper work that needs to be sorted out. What is beautiful to me is the earth, a tiny drop of rain falling to the ground, where it came from and where it is going.
Perhaps just for a moment I can pass on this gift many of us Autistics have been given. Even if just for a moment.
